check out my newest room guys
you learn to take the little victories
"Perfect guys don’t exi-"
…I never realized how much like me some of my friends are if they get left alone.
I guess that’s why I’ve been checking back here every once in a while. Just to see if there isn’t something going wrong behind the scenes as it were. I only wish there was more I could do sometimes. Over the past year or so I’ve gotten more and more used to the idea that I’ll have to do things on my own eventually, but every once in a while I fall back into that feeling that’s vaguely reminiscent of.the complete crapsack world that was eighth grade.
Oh, by the way, as far as that other old internet bro of mine that the read more was about the other day, he’s fine and he’s been recovering. Hopefully he’ll be completely back up by next month.
To be honest though, avoiding this site except for the occasional post was probably really good for me. As much as this site teaches you, you have to filter through hella tons of emotionally charged stuff that you just were better off not thinking about. Heck, now that I’ve talked to someone in the act of trying to off themselves, and was able to talk to them afterwards, they specifically mentioned this site - the guy never even thought about doing something like that until he came here (or actually, before that he met someone who was a regular here who had some problems too).
But anyway, like I said, he’s getting better, so I won’t worry too much.
I wish I knew how to do things better in general. But that’s something that I’ve actually actively been working on recently. TY based Didney for… I can never remember his name, movo… morvo… Naveen of Maldonia. Confound, I knew there was a v, m, and o in there somewhere. But anyway, that did bring back a little bit of spark for me actually - just the slightest bit of the “might as well just do it to learn” attitude has managed to resurface.
And… going back to the first bit of this post, the one in particular I’m referring to, I can only say that I know something of what that feels like, minus the other problem of course. I can’t throw enough Naegis, if you catch my drift. Keep going. You’re better at this than you realize, because when everyone else is taking a break or falling off entirely, you keep going. Unlike me, you’ve actually managed to direct your stubbornness. Haha. I know you will, because you have it in you. I used to have that in myself and I’m starting to find it again, which is good because I can sure use it.
And to everyone else, I say… try to limit your time here. Not because it makes you unproductive, but for your mental health itself. Just make sure that when you do come here, you have something to say yourself about your own life or about things you’ve learned instead of marveling too much at what other people have done, and thinking, “wow, there’s no way I could ever do that,” because that wears on your mind. While being well-informed is good, thinking too hard on the problems in the world also wears on your mind. You need to make your own life happen. I’m starting to learn that too.
*casually sidesteps inevitable hate by just logging right the heck back out*
Well, that’s all I have to say this time. Sorry for the XL post on your dash, feel free to leave if you want, just let me casually grab attention with this bold print.
Sad stuff that will ruin your morning below the cut.
Got back recently from spending a weekend at grandma’s house. I now know how to cook a couple more things because my cousin knows what he’s doing.
I saw Disney’s Princess and the Frog recently, and couldn’t help but know that Prince Naveen feel. Yanno, “they did everything for me, until the day my parents cut me off, and that’s when I realized… I don’t know how to do anything.” Which pretty much gets remedied when I actually learn something useful for everyday stuff, again ty based cousin for having legit kitchen skills. Idk why, for some reason learning from my parents or even grandma seems… not doable somehow. Oddly distant. Like it goes in one ear and out the other… Yet if I learn it anywhere else, I’ll remember it pretty much completely. Inner rebelliousness I suppose. My mind has been trained to focus on faults, yet at the same time, realize that mindset is wrong, and so I see those things happen once in a while from them and it worries me. I feel like I’m supposed to know more and I don’t, which is a big part of why I’m so lazy I guess.
I also got to see Monument Men which was a good movie and my high school world history teacher had better have seen that or I am going to punch something.
League’s been League.
Slacking off on driving again. I can’t let that happen, not now that I’ve been doing better. Of course, it’s hard when everyone’s on spring freaking break. Hahahahaha.
I still feel an overwhelming urge to do things that isn’t necessarily directed at a focused goal, but I think I’m just going to start taking actions. I’m too worried about repercussions and stuff from just moving things around. I need to just move stuff without asking dad at this point because there’s too much crap in this house that isn’t even usable anymore. I get like semi-hordey in video games, even, and the feeling that there’s too much crap in my house to even manage and I’m doing nothing to stop it makes me feel it’s starting to spill too far into my real life actions.
TLDR: I learned stuff, did stuff, and am about to do more stuff. Oh, and possibly go to a place at 5AM on Friday to photobomb the news.
Wednesday Addams from The Addam’s Family Values